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The Baby Decision: How to Make the Most Important Choice of Your Life-Merle Bombardieri MSW LICSW

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“A Warmly Empathic, Wide-Ranging Manual” – Kirkus Reviews"This valuable unbiased book skillfully shows readers how to stop fretting over the choice and take time to make the right one. –Blue Ink Starred Review and Notable BookFeatured in The Washington Post and The New York TimesBaby or Childfree? Which will it Be?Is this decision keeping you up at night? Do you feel terrified you will regret your decision? Are you paralyzed by this high-stakes choice?Now you can get off the fence and get on with your life. Imagine your relief when you discover the right choice and break free from obsession. Picture yourself enjoying the pleasures of parenthood or the freedom and spontaneity of living childfree.The Baby Decision is a powerful, unbiased guidebook by a professional coach/psychotherapist who has specialized in the topic for forty years.With wisdom, depth and humor Merle will help you take this overwhelming decision and break it down into a digestible sequence of five steps. During this discovery process you will: Dissolve fear and doubt.Use thirty visualization exercises and thought experiments to uncover your answer.Have deep talks with your partner, even if you disagree.Resist pressures from family and friends, and fully consider the rewards of the childfree choice.Learn the latest on one-child families, single, LGBTQI+ and older parents, fertility and adoption.Steal a few benefits from the opposite choice.Merle Bombardieri, MSW, LICSW is a psychotherapist, coach and workshop leader. Although she enjoyed raising her daughters, she has been a childfree advocate since 1978. She has contributed to Our Bodies Ourselves, The Boston Globe Magazine, Glamour, Self and Brides and has appeared on national news, talk show, and documentaries. Please see her Author Page for more information and to visit her blog for free advice and resources.Discover your personal answer to the baby question. Click “Play” on the Audible sample or “Look Inside” to preview the book.

Book The Baby Decision: How to Make the Most Important Choice of Your Life Review :



I have never written a review before, but felt compelled to do so simply because of how big and important this topic was/is to me and a lot of people. When I got the book, I actually told myself that I wasnt going to read it for another year or so when I felt I "had" to make the decision (being that I am 34, the next few years seem pivotal to this decision making process) ... So I couldn't help myself to just take a peek and see how the reading was, with the plan to only read a few chapters and put it down for another few years when I felt it was the right time. Long story short I couldn't stop reading it, and was truly amazing how eye-opening it was for me. When I finished the book, I cried. I couldn't believe that I had gotten through something that seemed so scary and real and that I had ACTUALLY come to a decision (and with ease). The only way I can explain it is that it felt like it painted this alarmingly huge red flag, and the decision was right in front of me. And by no means was it bias one way or they other, it does a beautiful job at remaining dead center. I was able to talk to my husband about it the entire way through, read out loud the parts I liked, and keep an honest open discussion throughout. It turns out we are so excited about our decision we can't wait to actually "live" it - we almost feel proud of it because we feel so confident we have ultimately figured out what is best for us. I am VERY happy I didn't wait to start to read this book - it was the best thing I could have done. Hope this helps someone out there to just give this book a try! And if anyone is curious, we have decided to be childfree. Best of luck.
If you and/or your partner are struggling to make a decision about children, you NEED this book. My husband and I are in our mid-late 30s and had been truly torn on the question of whether we wanted to have a child for a couple years - we were at the point where we knew we needed to decide, but trying to make such a monumentous decision was paralyzing. This book was truly a game changer for us. We each worked through it individually, and we were able to clarify our feelings and finally come to a decision that felt right to us and have confidence and comfort in our choice. Some of the best things about this book for me were: (1) that the author had a balanced perspective where I felt supported in discovering my own thoughts and feelings rather than pushed in one direction by the author; (2) that the book was written to men as well as women rather than being all about "motherhood"; (3) that the book offered a wide variety of exercises that helped me get in touch with a lot of different aspects of how I was feeling and examine the same concerns and hesitations from different angles. My husband and I were lucky in that we both ultimately discovered that we did want to have a child (which was surprising for my husband who had been leaning towards no for a long time), but I also appreciated the book's discussion of how to help make a decision as a couple if you and your partner realize you have different desires - it helped me clarify my feelings, and I think would be very helpful for couples who don't end up in the same place. If you're a woman who has a lot of past trauma or difficult childhood experiences and relationships that are getting in your way that you haven't already worked through with therapy or independent CBT work and you have time to devote to a more therapy-like approach, then "Motherhood - Is It For Me?" by Denise Carlini and Ann Davidman would be a great choice for you, but for most people, I truly think The Baby Decision is the only book you'll need to help you make your decision.

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