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Ebook About In the 1980's, Janet Woititz broke new ground in our understanding of what it is to be an Adult Child of an Alcoholic. In this updated edition of her bestseller she re-examines the movement and its inclusion of Adult Children from various dysfunctional family backgrounds who share the same characteristics. After decades of working with ACoAs she shares the recovery hints that she has found to work. Read Adult Children of Alcoholics to see where the journey began and for ideas on where to go from here.Book Adult Children of Alcoholics: Expanded Edition Review :
Not all of the information is incredibly profound, but this is the only mental health book that has ever changed my life.My parents are both alcoholics, I lived with only one growing up (the abuser). I had a decade-long relationship out of high school that really baffled me. I was disgusted by this person and they didn't treat me well, me being with them pushed others away, and I couldn't understand my undying loyalty to them or why I stayed out of pity instead of love. I also have issues with impulse control to some extent and I fail to take care of myself. I also had a hard time understanding why my role in the family was different from that of my siblings. I knew the answers somewhat, but having them put into clinical terms makes it so easy to identify and move forward in life. My life has done a complete 180 since I had these realizations last year. It's empowering knowing where your behaviors comes from, how to identity behaviors that don't serve you well, and how to act in a manner that doesn't allow your childhood to dictate the rest of your life.I randomly found the first edition at a yard sale and it's a good first step towards healing. Basic info, but sometimes you have to start at the basics. Adult Children of Alcoholics is not a general self help book. Coming from an emotionally abusive but non-alcoholic family, I was somewhat disappointed that its advice was so specific to alcoholic families. Still, I am glad that I finished reading it and here's why.1. ACA gave me perspective on adult children of alcoholics and the unique struggles they face with opening up. Without knowing it, I have probably worked and studied with many such people without realizing it. I saw their lack of vulnerability and perceived them as cold, or even suspicious. This book gave me insight into adult children of alcoholics and substance dependent people that helps me identify, empathize and work with them on a deeper and more productive level.2. ACA encouraged me not to become substance dependent myself. This is not a revelation: from a young age, our parents, teachers and authority figures encourage us not to do drugs. Nonetheless, I find this aspect of ACA valuable. In college, many of my peers were ostensibly successful despite frequent hard drug use and addictions to nicotine or ADHD/Anxiety medication. They earned decent grades, had a social network that (at least on the outside) seemed strong, and pursued their career. However, ACA made me realize that despite their appearance of success, few of them believe they are successful. As intelligent young men from upper middle class backgrounds, they had a large cushion that prevented their lives from being ruined by substance abuse. However, there is no question in my mind that most of them did not achieve their expectations of success, and that substance abuse was the cause of this.3. ACA educated me on the different between emotionally abusive families in general and alcoholic families is specific. While we often share characteristics in common, such as not knowing what normal is, or having difficulty in completing projects, we also differ in important ways. For example, I never felt like I had to take care of my parents in the way that many children of alcoholics do, nor did I have to suffer the embarrassment of my peers finding out about my family's alcoholism. Woititz does a good job of differentiating between traits caused by alcoholism and traits common even to functional families.4. ACA increased my self awareness. Even though it is extremely specific to alcoholic families, it made me think about my own family upbringing and the extent to which it influenced my current behavior. It helped me learn which aspects of my behavior are "normal" and which are not. I found this especially true of the chapter dealing with relationships. It helped me reconcile my contradicting lack of vulnerability and clinginess. At the beginning of a relationship, I put on a front and do not get emotional whatsoever. While this is normal to an extent, I take it to the extreme because I am afraid that my partner will run away if they uncover my emotional baggage. However, when I begin to trust the other person with my feelings and see they respond positively, I take it to the other extreme. I become extremely attached because I am worried that I will never find anyone who accepts me again. This book made me realize that most decent people would appreciate me opening up about my feelings (as long as it is to an appropriate amount) and that there is no reason to cling on to anyone who expresses acceptance. 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